Fighting the fight

Pretend to be strong
To smile
And laugh
And sing a happy song
But deep inside
I'm dying
Each time I see you cry
Each time you fight the fight
From late at night
Until the morning light
Your spirit trapped
In this moment
Dreaming
And longing
What lies beyond the gate
How do you pick up
The pieces around your feet?
Where do you begin
To find yourself again?
When it all seems lost
A never ending race
This moment that is now

This moment

Knocking on the door
With gentle steps
Across the floor
A risk perhaps
What were the odds?
But it was there
A flickering light
Beneath the eyes
Not quite sure
Of the what and the why
But no regrets
No looking back
It's constant
At least for now
Hope
That it might last
Afraid it might not
This moment
That rests in my heart

Spread your wings

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With your eyes so bright
And your beautiful smile
With your excitement for life
No time to rest for a while

You're growing up way too fast
No longer a little girl
A big 5 year old
Ready to take on the world

I feel so blessed
That you are here
Am so proud of you
There is nothing you have to fear

Live your dreams
Do amazing things
This moment is yours
So start spreading your wings

Never ending searching

Has never figured out
Don't know why it had to be
Sometimes it drives her mad
But mostly she's come to see

That she's not meant to know
Even when she burns deep inside
With the ever longing need
For answers that always seem to hide

A little girl of long ago
Thought once that maybe
If she could join you
She would finally see

And find the peace
A desperate need
To find the quiet from the never ending noise
Of the words stuck in her head

That's forever there
Present in her mind
Chasing and pushing and shoving
Screaming of an emptiness inside

And looking back
She's no different to then
Just maybe more composed
Mostly forgotten, but sometimes to remember again

Where dream and reality meet

Some say it is a gift
But I am simply possessed
With the thoughts and the words
Running through my head

Constantly and non-stop
Flowing like a stream
Fluttering and fighting
All the time it seems

And yet the words
Are forever trapped inside
Protecting the one
I'm running from to hide

A longing need to speak
To tell you and to say
But unable to utter
There simply is no way

And so I scribble
Random thoughts for you to read
And hope you see between the lines
Where dream and reality meet

Wish I could've known you

Wish I could've known you
Could've seen inside your head
Live the world through your eyes
Hear the words that you shared
In the songs that you wrote
That at times you spoke
A tormented soul
Forever looking for reason
And answers

In a world that moved too fast

And never understood

Just thoughts

You're over there
Silent like the night
Waiting
Breathing
Maybe you might
Who knows?
Not me
I wonder
Can't see
Just know
You're there
In the corner waiting
For now
For then
For what might still come
Slowly moving
On the wings of a dream
Slipping away
Can't hear what you say
The clock
Ticks away the hours
Of my life
In a dream
That wraps me when I'm cold
Just thoughts
Like a train
On the tracks
Always in my head
Longing for peace
And quiet
But they're there
Tormenting me

Annie

It still baffles me
That you are gone
In an instant
A mere memory
Floating in the sky
I sometimes still go back
And read the words you wrote
Wishing you were here today
To share your stories
And the things you had to say
I miss you
Even though we never met
Even though you simply lived
On the screen
In front of me
Your quiet is so very loud
It screams
And flickers
And drives me mad
And I wish
For just one more day

Memories

A fog in my mind
The ebbs and the flow
Moments and snippets
Of a time long ago

Can hear your voice
In the back of my mind
Where long it's been buried
A quiet place to hide

Look into my eyes
You're still living there
At times far away
Sometimes quite near

You come out to play
In the depths of my dreams
Sometimes I wonder
How long ago it seems

Where are you now?
What happened to you?
When I look at the stars
Are you looking at them too?

If I could go back
Just one moment in time
I'd spend it with you
Special friend of mine!